• Opinion: Oh God! Please Save Telugu Cinema Audience

    Recently, a lady from USA made a video and it created a lot of noise in the Industry. A popular channel invited her and a not-so film-critic (Also a Terrible Filmmaker) to talk about Telugu Cinema. Most of the people who watched that program went into depression and reports say that some people have bashed their TV. 

    So, here is an opinion from Ajay about this particular TV Show..

    Open Letter, Telugu Cinema, Telugu Films, Annapurna Sunkara
    Oh God! Please Save Telugu Cinema Audience

    Imagine a brightly lit studio. Cameras on every corner enough to capture even the minute expression of the lice in a participant’s hair. The host of the show who is almost famous enough to start their own channel soon considering their loyalties to celebrities. A panel consisting of people who think they represent an entire industry because they were called by this channel for their opinion.

    HOST: Tonight’s topic,” WHY DO YOU MAKE BAD FILMS? WHY CAN’T YOU MAKE GOOD FILMS? WHY CAN’T YOU MAKE A GOOD FILM LIKE MAYA BAZAAR?”

    PANELIST 1 ( the unfortunate director) : Sir, Infact I have made films that matter. But no one knew that they released because it is the onus of the audience to expedite my film’s release in a theatre near by. I am actually happy to be sitting over here listening my name being called these many times because no one cared till date.

    PANELIST 2 ( Producer/Director/Cameraman/lightboy/spotboy/actor/anchor/pilot/astronaut/biologist etc): Actually, the motion picture of Telugu language caters to all kinds of assembled spectators in atheatre.Alas, the fact being that the spectators are being catered gender biased films which doesn’t appease to many. Infact, you must have seen my movie in which I tried to portray the emotions of a Journalist…

    PANELIST 1(Thinking): What is he saying? Is he implying that he knows better than me? Is he better than me? Oh my god! Who is he?

    HOST: Errr… What was the movie?

    PANELIST 2: This is the problem with the audience. They do not accept innovative cinema. They cannot encourage new talent. The problem solely lies with the audience. The day, they accept my film is when the Telugu cinema excels.

    PANELIST 3 (Producer/Director/part time panelist) : Actually, i have made some very good movies but they didn’t earn good money because audience didn’t watch them. It is a sad state that in spite of making good cinema, I lost all my money. The credit for this only goes to audience.

    HOST: But what about Mayabazaar?

    PANELIST 3 : Saar! Please do not talk about it saar! It is an exception saar! The audience did not accept my movies saar! I cannot think/find such subjects saar!

    HOST : What about you? What are you here for? What are you?

    PANELIST 4: Feminist?

    HOST: Ya. We need one on the panel tonight. Go on..

    PANELIST 4: Actually, I find Mayabazaar sexist and mostly patriarchal. The movie is just about how Abhimanyu wants to get into the pants of Sasirekha. This actually provides no entertainment but watching it makes the audience turned on. Because audience are male chavunists who wants to get into the pants of the actress portraying Sasirekha. And hence, the rapes in India.

    PANELIST 2 : *wipes tears*

    PANELIST 1 : Can we talk about my movies? I can speak more about audience.

    HOST: Wait… wait..wait.. the purpose of calling you people is over. I have someone who matters and I am basically loyal to him. Yes Sir! Why do you make bad movies? Why can’t you make good movies?

    PANELIST 5 (The writer of movies like Mayabazaar. on phone): See, the problem is that our cinema has to cater all sections of the crowd. Since, it reaches different parts of the world, we ensure that the hero is good looking who balances both desi and videsi theatres. Also, some perversion in the side characters because we bloody pay them and also, the tickets are bought on the merit of the hero. Once, the movie is out and is a hit. Who effing cares? I made money, bitches! If it doesn’t, then it automatically qualifies as a good film and blame who? Yes, the audience because they do not accept good films.

    HOST: Panelist 1, What do you say?

    PANELIST 1: I always wanted to be the guy on the phone. I made a movie based on his formula but it didn’t work. Hence, the audience are to be blamed.

    PANELIST 2: No comments. I can’t speak shit now. But hey! The audience has to change and appreciate good movies.

    PANELIST 3: Saar! Please handover the formula to me saar! I will at least get back the money I invested.

    HOST: But what about good movies?

    PANELIST 3: Yes. The audience has to change. Also, the hot writers like PANELIST 5 should make movies like ours to promote us.

    PANELIST 5: Dude! Are you serious?

    HOST: That’s ok! Thanks macha! Let’s meet up for some old monk tonight!

    PANELIST 5: Sure macha! Come to the den! Bye!

    HOST: Before leaving, Panelist 4, anything to say?

    PANELIST 4: Bitch, Ain’t I famous already?

    HOST: That’s the end of our show. neither we could come up with a solution nor with a promise but hey, Audience! You are PUNKED, Yo! Thanks for the TRP and Youtube hits! IMMA GONNA GET PROMOTION!!

    *Show ends*

    AUDIENCE: Hi. We are Telugu audience. We live in various parts of the world. We are simple people with simple approach towards life. We are those kind of people who are just happy to see telugu fonts even on litter. We are just desperate to see something in our language. We do not mind taking a leave from office by killing our beloved pets or loyal house help or our grand parents just to watch a Telugu cinema. We travel long distances from the places we live just to see fellow telugu people with mutual excitement for the films in the theatre. We pay thrice to that of a normal ticket price for the films you make irrespective of the known fact that you lift it from other languages.If the film is good, it is your direction, writing, acting etc., that mattered. But if the film is bad, you divide us. You call us names. You divide us in the name of class audience and mass audience. You divide us as A, B & C centres. You become an economist just to prove that your movie made money and our opinions doesn’t matter. You make us scapegoats. You call us tasteless. You call us insensitive. We become racists. We become sexists. we are everything but terrorists.

    P,S: This is an excerpt  of a depressing discussion aired on television where it ended without any conclusion. I am one of those who lost their valuable 50 minutes just for being a movie buff. If anyone is offended by the language or find resemblance to themselves, please understand that it is the freedom of expression which lets me write this blog and I can happily accept my mistakes and apologize at any time but will still stand by my opinion.

    OMG! I forgot something… LONG LIVE TELUGU CINEMA, OK!

    Written by Ajay and this piece was first posted on http://hoorki.com/2015/07/30/plight-of-a-common-telugu-cinema-audience/

    P.S: These are the views of the author

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